On My Own

Photo Courtesy of estherase.  Some Rights Reserved.
Photo Courtesy of estherase. Some Rights Reserved.

I’ve been avoiding the blog for a little bit.  Life has been up and down for me the past few months and I’m finally starting to pull things together. Short story: My long term relationship ended and I moved out of the place where I lived for over 8 years into a place where it’s just me and my stuff.

For the first time in my adult life, I’m on my own. There’s nobody to answer to but myself. Just me. Singular. It’s scary.

To be completely upfront with you (the internet), I have had some emotionally messy days.  There is so much uncertainty in my life when I thought I had everything figured out.  I’m used to having someone to rely on other than myself and it’s weird to think that I’ve got to sort things through on my own.  But I guess that’s not really true.  I have some great friends, a wonderful family, a team of badass derby girls, and a supportive ‘work family’ who keep an eye on me. When I needed someone to cry at, I’ve had people there to listen, hug, and offer advice.

Despite all the feelings that I’ve had over the past few months, I’m looking forward to an indefinite future.  Work is awesome and keeps me busy, so I have no worries there… but the rest of my life is undetermined.

I’m just going to take it one day at a time.  I intend on looking forward, not backwards, as I take steps to continue becoming who I am.  About 2 weeks ago, I came across a quote that has been my new mantra, and reminds me that there’s no use trying to change the past and that the only place that you can focus is on the future.  I wish I could remember where I found it… but sometimes things just pop into your life at the right time for the right reasons.

“You can’t change what happened yesterday, so just release it.”

What’s next for me?  Vacation.  A solo vacation. I’ve never travelled out of the country alone, but I think it’s high time for me to do so. I’ll try to keep things updated here as I start each day as a new adventure.

4 thoughts on “On My Own

  1. Well written…. Nothing can change what happened in our past but where we go from here. You can go in any direction you choose. As for travel, any thoughts. If I could, I would do New Zealand……. Or maybe just back to the Eastern Townships.

  2. That’s amazing!! I’m so excited for you :) The quote is super neat! I might just have to write it everywhere to remind myself!
    Self adventure?! You are a wonderful, amazing, adventurous woman.
    And I can’t speak for everyone… but I can speak for the derby community- we are ALWAYS around. Even if you want to try and get rid of us. You’re stuck.

    Lots of love and hugs! Carley

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